一對夫婦從一個男人的角度看待不孕的旅程”,作者:查理·德魯斯(Charlie Druce)

翻錄劇本是一個男人關於一對夫妻經歷不育之旅的故事

從出軌發現的頭幾個月開始,到試管嬰兒過山車(包括在拉斯維加斯最後擲骰子),直到幾年後,他們如何撕掉嬰兒腳本,直到幾年後,與他們即將領養的嬰兒見面。

今天,我對生孩子的擔憂更多是關於父母身份的流失和激動,而不是關於生育治療的過山車

Our boy – adopted by us when he was a baby – has just retreated into his room, after yet another scrap about his growing Fortnight habit.我們的男孩-當他還是嬰兒時被我們收養的-在又一次關於他成長的“雙週”習慣的報廢之後,才回到他的房間。 When it comes to day-to-day parenting (adoption issues aside), having an adopted child is really no different to having a biological one.說到日常養育(不包括領養問題),領養孩子與領養孩子確實沒有什麼不同。 All those loves, joys and challenges are exactly the same.所有這些愛,歡樂和挑戰都是完全一樣的。

然而-這個詞 採用 is so often (but not always) a signal that 'childlessness' has most likely occurred;常常(但並非總是)表示“無孩子”最有可能發生; a couple has failed to conceive naturally, had fertility treatment, failed at that too…一對夫婦自然受孕失敗,接受了生育治療,也因此失敗了……

Certainly, that would define the broad sweep of our long journey to finding our family, for my wife and I: the de-railing shock of discovering our infertility, just as our marriage was getting going, it's vision of children beginning to glow on the radar;當然,對於我和我的妻子而言,這將定義我們尋找家人的漫長旅程的廣泛範圍:發現不孕症的出軌震驚,就像我們的婚姻將要發展一樣,是孩子們開始在婚姻中煥發光芒的願景。雷達; several years of 'natural' then full on IVF, including a final role of the dice in a Las Vegas clinic (the full range of what we so heartbreakingly call 'failed cycles');經過幾年的“自然”治療,然後在試管嬰兒上充分發揮作用,包括骰子在拉斯維加斯診所中的最終作用(我們如此令人心碎的“失敗循環”的全部範圍); and then, once we had had licked our wounds, a big step into the world of adoption (light at the end of the tunnel, at last).然後,一旦我們舔了舔傷口,就進入了採用的世界(邁向隧道盡頭的曙光)邁出了一大步。

儘管我們儿子帶給了我們很多財富,但那仍然與我們同在–那不育的海嘯席捲了我們的生活

那生物 that never happened, year after year, hasn't gone away.年復一年,從未發生過的事情沒有消失。 It doesn't leave you, not completely.它不會離開你,也不會完全離開你。 However a person / couple proceed with their lives (together or apart), post 'failed' fertility treatment – surrogacy perhaps, adoption, or deciding to do without – it goes on, rippling through your life, albeit the waves of grief becoming smaller and quieter, as time passes.然而,一個人/一對夫婦(一起或分開)繼續他們的生活,進行“失敗的”生育治療–代孕,收養或決定不做–它繼續發生,在您的生活中蕩漾,儘管悲傷的浪潮越來越小,隨著時間的流逝,變得更安靜。

繼發性不孕症

今天,有很多閱讀資料對我們所說的有幫助 繼發性不孕症 a state that encompasses much of what I'm talking about.包含我所談論的大部分內容的狀態。 But SI has a particular anchor of reference – an但是SI具有特定的參考錨點- 在先前分娩後無法懷孕或無法生育 –並且至少並沒有直接涵蓋這些終生的,延長的不育問題(也不包括任何採用情況)。

“翻錄腳本”

As a man now well into my 50's, and still with the same partner who co-piloted me through all this, this on-going presence of infertility in our lives was one of several reasons to write 'Ripping Up the Script' (another one being the lack of infertility books written by men).如今,一個進入XNUMX多歲的男人,並且仍然與同伴共同幫助我完成所有這一切,因此,我們生活中不斷出現的不孕症是撰寫“翻錄劇本”的幾個原因之一(另一個缺乏男人寫的不育書籍)。 Certainly a factor behind my waiting for a time in my life (before writing it) that felt less raw;當然,在我一生中等待一段時間(寫之前)的一個因素使我感到不舒服。 for a decade of distance and understanding – for the benefit of readers going through it all (I hope!) – to help me write with a deeper perspective not just on the spills and thrills of the sample room and the roller-coast rides of hope and loss (so well covered, already), but the ongoing, longer-term contexts and consequences of infertility (some of them surprisingly hopeful, in a hard-won kind of way. Empowering even).十年的距離和理解-為了使讀者受益匪淺(我希望!)-幫助我以更深刻的觀點寫信,而不僅僅是對樣本室的溢出和刺激以及希望過山車和損失(已經涵蓋了這麼多),但是持續不斷的長期情況和不孕症的後果(其中一些令人驚訝地充滿希望,以一種來之不易的方式。甚至賦予了權力)。

世界衛生組織將不孕症(最後歸類為疾病而不是“病症”)定義為: “在無保護的性交一年後未懷孕”。 A helpful diagnosis perhaps, if you're wanting to gain access to free or subsidised fertility treatment.如果您想獲得免費的或補貼的生育治療,也許是個有用的診斷。 But for just about every other aspect of what infertility means – its longer term但是對於不育意味著什麼的其他各個方面,它是長期的 心理,性和福祉的影響–完全沒有用。

Childlessness is as old as the hills.沒有孩子的年齡和山丘一樣古老。 But as our ways of dealing with it have evolved – fertility science, counselling and talking about it (there's a lot of positives here!) – so our understanding of those impacts needs to evolve too.但是,隨著我們應對方式的發展–生育科學,諮詢和討論(這裡有很多積極之處!)–因此,我們對這些影響的理解也需要發展。 A progression that explores, supports and gives voice to all that it means, life long, for women and men going through it.對於經歷其中的男女而言,這是一生探索,支持並表達其所有含義的進步。

“翻錄腳本”是亞馬遜出版物.

“男人有信心完全參與伴侶的,甚至可能涉及自己的生育問題,這是極為重要的。 長期以來,人們一直將生育問題視為婦女的主要問題。” (Zita West,生育專家。)

翻錄腳本 is an entertaining read about fertility – funny, moving, useful.是一本有趣的有關生育的文章,有趣,有趣,有用。 The more men's voices are out there, the easier it will become for us to talk about it.”人們的聲音越多,我們談論它就越容易。” (Gareth Down,男性生育支持的創始人。)

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